Breakups: My life Part 2

This is the 2nd part to my Breakups: My life.

When I met him in that coffee shop  I felt as if I couldn't remember all the terrible things that happened between me and him. The fact that he was my first made me connected to him on a certain level, but I thought I could get over that part. Right when I saw him again, that's all  I could think about. I had given him something so special... to a piece of shit guy  I might add.

While we talked he apologized for all the lies he had told to me. He said he had matured and that he had learned from our relationship ending. I walked right into more of his lies, as embaressing as it is to say, I believed him. After  I left the coffee shop I felt like I needed more. Just talking through things wasn't enough. I contacted him and skipping to the actual stuff, we got back together about a month later.

But the lies hadn't stopped. He never told his parents that we got back together like he said he had. He talked to ANOTHER girl while we were together. The lies had... I wanted to say gotten worse but I don't think any lie justifys as an "okay lie to tell". I found all of this out but I still chose to stay with him.  I got to a bad place though where my depression was starting to come back very badly. It was such a toxic relationship and  I was letting it control me.

I started feeling so badly about myself that  I felt like the relationship was the only "good thing" that I had, although that was far from true. He became very judgmental and would talk down to me and make me feel little. He started to get on me for things that I did and it almost seemed that he wanted me to change everything about myself. As you guys can tell, we broke up again for the 2nd time.

Dealing with this breakup: It has been so different then the last breakup. I have felt so much more confident in myself this time,  I finally realize that I deserve better and that I WILL HAVE better. Someone who treats me the way I want to be treated, the right way. And most importantly someone who is honest with me. Ive probably only cried twice in the last two months and it feels good to know that he is a piece of shit (mind my language). Instead of missing him, I am happy and  I feel that he treated me that way due to the problems in his own life. He has something wrong with him and its NOT me. I am now focusing on myself and keeping myself happy and healthy. I am my first priority.

Anyone out there in a toxic relationship, or going through a breakup,  I want you to know that you are so important and its not selfish or bad to put yourself first. There is only one you and you need to FOCUS on what's important. The person your with doesn't define you and doesn't control you. Do what makes you happy and feels good, and the rest will fall into place.

xoxoxo

Link to my breakup video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63nuqDNom5Q

Breakups : My life Part 1

Dealing with a breakup is hard....so hard. I had to deal with a breakup twice with the same person, and that was very interesting. The first time we broke up, it was mainly because we argued a lot, and he lied to me so many times.  I got to a point where  I didn't trust him at all, and the things he did made me feel so much anger towards him constantly. We would argue so much and  I found myself looking for reasons to get mad at him, just to get back at him for the things he had done to me.

When we first dated he had lied to me about so many things in his life. I was a Junior in high school, and we went to different schools but met through a volunteering program. He started telling me how he was on the football team, that he was from new York, and that he slept with a numerous number of girls (which btw was NOT attractive).

These little things that he told me, were so simple that at the time I didn't know he was lying. Then a couple months after we were talking, he told me that he had a brain tumor. I didn't know what to think of this at the time because 1)who would lie about something like that and 2) if I were to accuse him of lying and he was telling the truth, that would look terrible on my part. So for our whole relationship I was thinking that this was true (it still disgust me).  The list of things he lied about was endless.

I remember one time that my grandpa had gotten in a car accident, and I was so hurt sad and scared for my grandpa. I really had trusted this boy at the time so I told him what happened. He claimed that he was in the hospital at the time but that he was going to ask his nurse if my grandpa was staying at the same hospital. He LIED straight to my face, when I was most vulnerable. I don't understand how anyone could do that.Yes, I bet your wondering why I would be stupid enough to stay with him, but  I didn't find out that this was all a lie until the day after we broke up. Definetely not my favorite memory.

Dealing with the Breakup:  Well when I was having to deal with this breakup, it was difficult because someone that I had loved and cared for so much,  someone I had told everything to, someone I thought  I could trust had lied to me about everything. Our whole relationship was a lie. At first I pretended as if it never happened. The first 2 weeks of being broken up I basically talked to other guys and didn't think about it at all. Then one day it decided to hit me...hard.

I realized that this guy was not in my life anymore. Although it was a good thing that we weren't together anymore, it was so crazy to think about what all has happened. I have depression, it runs in my family, so dealing with something like this hit me 10 times harder then I thought it would. I would cry a lot at night because I didn't understand. I didn't understand how someone who claimed to love me so much could lie to me about everything, call me names and treat me so negatively.

Then one day it got better. I started to realize that I was going to be okay. But then I got to a point where I  didn't just want to be "okay"... I wanted to be happy again. I saw my ex boyfriend 8 months later walking downtown randomly and I considered this a "sign" that we had unfinished business. I contacted his mother and set up a time to meet up with him and talking. Mind you that for 8 months he never tried to contact me after we broke up.

We met up and I started to have feelings for him again. Or at least I thought  I did.

Let me know if you guys want to know the rest. Part 2 will be up soon.

How to deal with a breakup : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63nuqDNom5Q

Back to School : Makeup

For most teenagers, going back to school is an exciting and crazy time! You get to meet new people, make new friends, and start fresh. School is where so many experiences happen. Now being a girl who has gone through middle school, high school, and some college, I know one of the most exciting things for us girls is dressing up for the first day of school. Hair, makeup, clothes, it all goes together with the excitement of school and fall starting up again. I created a makeup look that ANYONE can achieve at home, for the first day of school. This is a quick and easy look that fits for any skin color and skin type! Its simple yet dressy! If you would like to see how to achieve this look then check out my video at the bottom of this post! ALSO  I wanted to talk about how important it is to express yourself! Be yourself the first day of school, meaning you don't have to fit in with the social norm! I love makeup and its a passion of my which is why I made this video, but if you do not like to wear makeup or dress up for the first day of school, that's awesome too! Just be yourself :) love you all!

xoxox

Sadiebrookie

Video Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCv1_OXLoNM

Invisalign Review and Info.

Background Info:  I've always had "perfect teeth". Ever since I was little my teeth were just always straight and looked extremely well to me. Well last winter I had to get my wisdom teeth removed (which by the way was an extremely awful experience).

After I got my wisdom teeth taken out, my teeth started to shift and 7 months later I went to the dentist and he saw that my teeth were shifting ALOT. I started getting a lot of gaps in my mouth, also my overbite was pretty bad and crookedness was taking over my mouth. Now I may be over exaggerating a bit just because it is my mouth so I might notice it more then everyone else, but nonetheless I decided to go to the orthodontist.

I had two options, I could either get Braces, or invisalign and of course that wasn't a hard choice for me. I don't have anything against braces, but I didn't want to look any younger, especially since ill be going to college this fall. So I chose invisalign

A little about Invisiline:  Invisalign are clear inserts that you put over your teeth and they essentially do the same job as braces. You switch the invisiline pieces and replace them with a tighter or different one every two weeks depending on how your teeth are.

With invisalign you can eat whatever you want because you are able to take them out, but dentist/orthodontist prefer you to have them in at least 22 hours a day. You need to clean your invisiline often and brush your teeth before you put them back in after you eat.


Review: So far I've had invisiline for only a few weeks, but so far I like it a ton. I will have Invisiline for 18 months which is a very long time, but  I feel it will go by fast! The first few days when I first started the invisalign it was not so amazing. My teeth were aching and sore and I felt as if I didn't want to eat anything because  I was afraid to take them out. But after the first few days went by, I realized that it wasn't so bad, and I almost don't even notice them now!

 I really love the Invisalign because I can eat whatever I want still, just as long as I take them out before. Ive notice some improvement in my teeth already and when I start a new set and its sore, it doesn't bother me as much anymore because it reminds me that my teeth are moving and getting better :) I will keep you all updated on my teeth!

If you would like to see a before and after picture, I will be putting it up on my Instagram which is :Sadiebrookie.

My Youtube Video talking about Invisalign: http://youtu.be/W73FfANgAKE

Sadies Journal Entry : 6/15/13

Alright guys.. so heres another journal entry from June! Talking about my crazy dramatic life... no just kidding. but I hope you enjoy! :O

6/15/13

Dear JOURNAL,
So yes...yes its true... I GRADUATED!! Graduation was SO MUCH FUN! I enjoyed it and it was such a special moment in my life :) I'm so happy I had such great friend and family there to support me. So after graduation I was still debating on weather or not I wanted to go to the grad night party but I chose to go and I'm so glad I did! It was a great experience and I'm happy I got the chance to do it! Driving to the bowl and skate place in Lynnwood was pretty lame (except the hypnosis was AWESOME). But my favorite part was going to the science center! I still can't believe I hate a cricket.....but it was worth it cause I won 4 mariners tickets!! yesss!! So yeah it was all great besides Makaelynns annoying selfishness. I really honestly don't see how we're "friends" because our personalities clash. We are completely different people and I truly don't like her personality at all. End of story haha. So yeah pretty much today I have to work and then me and lexie might hangout later on this evening which will be nice :) Oh so yeah about the Randy thing, I decided that I am going to wait until Wednesday and if he hasn't called yet then I am going to say something. I can't go on like this and feel like I'm starting to put myself in a negative situation so I can either do something about it or move on... I'm in control of my life so I will fix this. I hope that there's a good reason but if he really doesn't want to talk then Id rather know now. Alright I gotta go!

Sadie

Follow your Dreams: My youtube Channel

Hey Everyone! So this isn't like the other types of posts that I usually do, this was is special because today I will be talking about my youtube channel! In December of 2012 I finally decided that after Christmas I would make a youtube channel. I had been wanting to for almost a year but was to afraid to see what people would say and how they would perceive me. One day I realized that the only reason I wasn't making a youtube video was because of everyone else. I was letting everyone else control a decision that would only better my life, so I then decided 'What the Heck! I'll do it'

Starting my first video was one of the best things I could of possibly done.  I am so happy because I can express myself, and it has helped me grow as a person and care less about what others think. Ive been working on my channel for 8 months now and am still going pretty strong. I have a very good fan base which makes me so happy because anyone who is so kind and supportive always has a place in my heart. I appreciate all the amazing and kind reactions and comments my viewers give to me.

The types of videos that  I make are all over the place. I do the makeup fashion and beauty type of videos, but I also make motivational videos where I talk about positive affirmations and how to be happier. I am not always going to make a specific type of video, I am going to make whatever I am feeling and whatever makes me and my viewers happy :) Now although this has been a lot about my channel and my expierence, what I am trying to get at is that you should do whatever makes you happy. Do not care about what others think because at the end of the day its your life, and your dreams on the line, not theres. You Only Live Once. Make the most of it.

My Youtube Channel

Negativity to Motivation

Dealing with Negative Situations

Part One

 

Recently I have been dealing with a lot of not so great moments in my life and usually my initial reaction would be to curl up in a hole and hide away from the world for a couple weeks. But the other day I realized, that clearly wasn't working for me. Me and my boyfriend just broke up within the last two weeks, and  I thought this was going to be a hard breakup to get over, but honestly it only took me a couple of days. I took that negative moment in my life and turned it into something that could motivate me to better myself and create happier moments in my life. So far it has been a great feeling for me so I thought  I would share with you some tips of how to do this, and explain some of the things that I personally did to make Negativity become Motivation.
 

                                                                                                                                                                        

                   1.Positive affirmations

I know I bring these up a lot but I cannot stress enough how much these will help you stay positive and feel better. They can really change your outlook on a negative situation.

 

 Ex: When me and my ex boyfriend broke up, instead of saying how I was never going to find another person and how I was terrible in the relationship and all the negative things a person might say, I instead said how wonderful I was and how  I WAS going to find a person that would treat me nicely.

 

Task: Look in the mirror every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed and tell yourself 5 Positive affirmations. You can find them online, or even make them up yourself. At the end, look yourself in the eye and tell yourself " I love you". What's important when doing this is actually feeling what your saying, don't just say it and roll your eyes; try to mean it.
 

 

                                        2. Keeping Busy

 
A lot of people say that during breakups or during hard times with family and things like that, that you should hangout with friends and go do stuff. I totally agree with this and I am going to tell you why.

Ex: During my breakup I realized that I would think about it in the morning before work but right when I got to work, its like as if it never happened. Then when I got off work it was back on my mind again so instead of going home I went to hangout with friends and once again it kept my mind off of it. Each day it got easier, to the point where before work I wouldn't even think about it because I was looking forward to all the stuff I had planned to do that day

 

Task: Find things you absolutely LOVE to do. Things that make you happy and people that make you feel good about yourself and confident. Make a list of these things and do at least one of them a day or once a week (whichever is best for you). Do those things, especially around the time of something hard or bad. You focusing on these happy things  and keeping busy does NOT mean that you don't care about the current bad issue in your life and it doesn't NOT mean that you wont have days where it will be on your mind. But it will help you feel stronger and more in control in your situation.

 

                              3. Let it out

Venting is a good way to get those feelings out that you have been holding in about your negative situation. But don't go venting to every single person you know

.  

Ex: I keep a journal where I like to write about things going on in my life, the good and the bad. this is a good place for me to vent because I don't feel judged or like my secrets will get spread and changed around from person to person.

 

Task: Write in a journal or talk to someone you trust very much about what's going on. Whatever is most comfortable for you and just get all of that built up stress, anger, sadness, or negativity out of your system! It will feel good, trust me. ( if you don't feel comfortable doing either, screaming in a pillow or a good cry can help. just as long as it doesn't go on for days)

 

                               4. Dreams and Tasks

 Everyone has things in there life that they want to accomplish. I think that during something negative, a way to get motivated and feel better is to find something that you really want to work towards, and GET STARTED. If you've always wanted to be a youtuber, start now. if you've wanted to get better at dancing, take a class.

 

Ex: I really want to do good in school this year so Ive been looking at all these organizational tips, focusing on ways to get better at studying and finding videos on youtube to watch that help motivate me to reach that goal.

 

Task: List the things that you want to do or get out of life and get started on one thing. Why not now? Its a good time to focus on something positive that you can look forward too. I recommend only doing one thing at a time because you don't want to overwhelm yourself with all these goals you want to reach.

 

 

I hope these tips help you guys feel better and a little bit more motivated to being happier through a tough situation. If you would like to see more tips please let me know! I was thinking about making a video for my youtube channel about this, would you guys like that? Love you all and be happy. You only have one life to live, so make the most of it <3